Slowly and hesitatefully Zorro headed to his bathroom, he did not want to do it in his room, shame, yes shame, probably that was the word describing his feeling. And bathroom was the only place he could hide away, hide away from his desire to feel strong, but even here he felt embarassment. Nevertheless, slowly, with no hurry, pathethically he took his mask off and put it as if a feather on shelf… He was prepared… Prepared to try once more… Now he could see himself in a mirror, Zorro, they were afraid of you before, where are those good old days? Where are those days when your man’s honour ruled in a world of unjustice… Zorro you have to prove them that you are still a man… At first he decided to take IT and hold IT strongly, he grabbed IT and tried to hold IT steadily, it did not work, what a disgrace, where is the man’s honour? He tried second time, this time he decided to be more gentle and almost overdid with his desire to be too soft, but it was better this time, it somehow started to obbey him… but no, failure again. Oh, Zorro where are those old days when you were young and you both, together had no shame over this world of injustice, when you were ready to give IT even a name. Those days are gone and here you stand half naked with your mask off, feeling like a woman. Oh, Zorro, try again. He touched and moved his hand and fingers along IT, along his mighty (or what he thought was mighty), long and at the same time curving instrument, instrument which served him well before, especially in his teenages. Oh, Zorro where are all those days? When energy was overflowing from you, when you ruled the world together? What a disgrace?.. Here you are Zorro, defeated and feeling sorry, ashamed in front of yourself, afraid of your own shadow, with a broken joystick. Why does it always happen like this my dear Zorro? Why all that joy you could have for free before is gone now? Oh, Zorro, you needed help, but hardly anyone could help you with that. Oh, Zorro, what a pitty… Zorro, tried to help himself several times, over and over again, sometimes doing it even furiously, but no… he was defeated… And he had to admit his defeat.
“Nevermore” – Quoted Zorro – “Nevermore.”
Zorro was sorry for himself, his hands were weak and the blade was no sharp anymore.
Glasgow, June 16, 2009